Innocence was still there,
All I needed was a loving gaze to make me cheer,
I was a good girl,
But all began to slowly shatter the moment a bad boy appeared.
My body was awakened and started to surrender to him,
The fairy tale dreamer was still there,
Would he stay forever if I completely surrender to him?
His beautiful words made me believe he’ll always be there,
In the end I was left crying over him.
The good girl image was gone,
A new lover after new lover appeared in my life,
The butterflies were also gone,
Disrespect towards me became more common in my life,
Regret had me saying, “What have I done?”
All I had wanted was to be loved,
Yet all the lovers made me feel I wasn’t worthy of love,
The increase of lovers labeled me a “hoe” unworthy of being loved,
I was ashamed of everything I had done,
Part of me still kept hoping to be loved.
I walked away from love,
Took a moment to heal,
Worked on accepting everything I done,
Worked on remembering on how love should feel,
I did it for me and my true love.
The burden of am I a “good girl” or “bad girl” was no longer there,
The labels no longer mattered,
The past was accepted,
My head was raised,
I smiled again.
Love found me when I healed,
No more bad boy making me cry,
Instead it’s a constant reminder that tells me, “This is how love should always feel,”
In his eyes I’m special and doesn’t want to make me cry,
Who I am when I’m with him is all that matters instead of who I used to be before I healed.
Love isn’t always beautiful. Some of us might go to the wrong path because of love. Some of us might face images we aren’t proud of. Some of us might become someone we aren’t proud of. That’s why it can be good to make time for emotional healing. Most of all, it’s important to remember that it’s okay to want to be loved, but more important to remember to love yourself.
As Buddha says:
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”