I’m walking towards the edge,
I’m walking closer to death,
I’m afraid of falling from the edge,
I’m afraid of death,
I’m not stepping away from the edge.
I don’t want to turn back towards my miserable life,
There’s nothing in my past worth going back to,
I feel it’s impossible to have a good life,
There’s nothing in the future I’m looking forward to,
I feel it’s better to end this life.
I look up on the sky and wonder if there’s a heaven,
I look down below and wonder if there’s a hell,
Will I go to heaven?
Will I go to hell?
I can’t see hell or heaven.
All I can see is the painful death that I’m going to have,
All I can see is the painful life that I had,
I wish I could see that it’s a good life that I’m going to have,
All I have our assumptions based on the life I had,
I feel I should listen to the assumptions that say, “It isn’t a good life that I’m going to have.”
The word assumption makes the light click in my brain,
I suddenly see how foolish I’ve been to want to choose death,
It was foolish to have assumptions without proof in my brain,
The truth is, we can never escape death,
That’s the true fact in my brain.
Yet it doesn’t mean that I have to choose death right now,
I should let death choose me,
It should be about figuring out how to have a better life right now,
Death will eventually choose me,
The question is, “Am I smart enough to figure out how to stop having a miserable life right now?”