Calling You (Poem)

Heaven,

I’m calling you,

Heaven,

Don’t listen as I continue to call you,

It isn’t the right time to go to heaven.

 

I want to end it all,

Please don’t listen when I say, “Take me to heaven,”

I want a better solution to all,

There’s still the belief that the solution isn’t heaven,

Ignore me when I say that I want to end it all.

 

Heaven is eventually where I’ll go,

For now, I’m fighting not to go to heaven when I say I want to end it all,

I’m begging my own demons to let me go,

I’m fighting to not listen to “let’s end it all,”

For now, I’m fighting not to go.

Crumbling (Poem)

My world is crumbling,

What I walked away from is calling,

My soul feels dark as the world keeps crumbling,

My own demons are calling,

Reminded of my past escape when my world was crumbling.

 

They did drugs and drank,

I watched as I continued to surround myself with those who struggled,

I never did drugs or drank,

Yet felt similar because we continued to live as we struggled,

They couldn’t escape their demons even after they did drugs or drank.

 

They were gangsters,

I was an outcast,

They were judged because they were gangsters,

I was judged because I was an outcast,

Sadly, heaven took some gangsters.

 

I chose a different life,

Yet in hardships, I’m reminded of them,

They don’t have much in life,

Perhaps I’m meant to have nothing like them,

It’s with this type of thinking that I say, “It’s time to find my inner peace to continue choosing the good life.”

 

Thanks (Poem)

Thanksgiving is here,

There are so many things to be grateful for,

Depression is here,

It’s hard to focus on what I’m grateful for,

I’m letting depression to be here.

 

The doctor gave me the results,

It’s so hard to be grateful when I encounter something hard,

Why couldn’t everyone wait after Thanksgiving to give me the results?

Life feels so hard,

Why couldn’t I have received good results?

 

Then there were other people giving me bad news,

Why does everyone have to gather to try to knock me down?

My mind and body isn’t able to handle so much bad news,

I’m trying so hard to stay up and not down,

All I want to do is cry because of the bad news.

 

Still, I’ll do my best to get through this bad chapter,

I’ll find a way to give thanks,

I have to believe that the future will have a better chapter,

There will come a day when I’ll overcome this and give thanks,

It will be okay as long as I don’t give up because of this bad chapter.

Fighting to Survive (Poem)

Thoughts of ending my life appear,

Those thoughts are like a terrible friend that I can’t let go,

I keep letting it appear,

Yet I don’t listen to it even when I can’t let that friend go,

I keep fighting to survive even when I let my negative thinking appear.

 

Why do I fight?

I fight because life also reminds me of how amazing it is to be alive,

Why do I fight?

I fight because on my good days I say, “I’m so thankful to be alive,”

Why do I fight?

I fight because life proved that I can overcome even when the terrible friend said, “You shouldn’t be alive.”

 

Truthfully, I walked away from people who were toxic,

I just have to learn how to let go of that negative thought or terrible friend,

After all, I was able to survive without those who were toxic,

That means I can survive without that negative thought or terrible friend,

Yes, I’ll fight to have positive thoughts and eventually say goodbye to all the toxic.

Yourself (Poem)

You tell yourself, “No one cares,”

Does that mean that you don’t care about yourself?

You can be the one person that cares,

Why can’t you focus on learning to care about yourself?

Why are focusing on finding someone else who cares?

 

Perhaps you’ll find someone who cares when you learn to care about yourself,

So start to believe that you are an important person,

Believe that you deserve to love yourself,

Don’t believe that you aren’t important if someone else doesn’t make you feel like an important person,

Your own thinking is what determines if you deserve the put-downs that you are giving yourself.

 

Understanding Me (Poem)

There’s sadness within me,

Why do I feel sad?

What’s going on with me?

I don’t know why I’m sad,

I need to understand me.

 

I feel anger within me,

Why am I angry?

What’s going on with me?

I don’t know why I’m angry,

I need to understand me.

 

I don’t always know why I feel the way I do,

Yet I take time to try to understand my feelings,

I work to figure out why I feel the way I do,

I spend time alone with my feelings,

Understanding my feelings is what I feel I must do.

 

You see there’s nothing wrong with trying to understand yourself,

Answers can come when we try to understand ourselves,

Understanding yourself is also part of loving yourself,

Sadly, we focus more on understanding others yet don’t focus on understanding ourselves,

The question is, “Who would understand you if you don’t try to understand yourself?”

 

Hero Clothes (Poem)

I should put on confident clothes,

I should say, “I can do this,”

Oh, I wish I could feel calm with clothes,

I wish I actually believed that I can do this,

Perhaps I should wear some hero clothes.

 

I think the doctor might look at me weird,

The doctor might understand if I say “I’m wearing this because I’m scared,”

Yet the check-up results won’t change because I look weird,

The unknown is what has me scared,

I guess it might be good to get temporarily distracted by looking weird.

 

You see I’m my own hero,

Fighting any type of illness is what makes anyone a hero,

Yet is never easy for any hero,

There are obstacles for a hero,

Most of all, some heroes were once a scared hero.